Goodbye

This is my last post.

Don't worry. Nothing bad happened. I'm fine.  I simply don't have the drive to continue posting.  I don't really have a reason to do so anymore.  I was actually about to quit way back last spring, when I had only made a few posts.  The way I got into this blogging community was by discovering Mikey's blog.  When I was coming out, I found my strength to do so by reading stories by men who had done the same.  I looked up to them and wanted to be like them.  I believed Mikey was doing the same thing for a new generation of gay teens out there.  I continued to follow him and began interacting with the forum's community.  I decided to give blogging a try myself; partially to experiment with it, and also because I was going through some issues that I wasn't comfortable talking to my family and friends about back then and wanted to vent.  I was losing interest in it pretty quickly.

Then the scandal happened.  Those of you who where there remember how heartbroken a lot of people were.  I realized how devastating this was going to be to all of the closeted gay people out there who he inspired.  I was worried that they might lose hope.  I decided I'd tell my own coming out story in hopes that it would help everyone understand that even though Mikey wasn't real, there are lots of gltb people out there who are.  I realize writing with a pseudonym defeats the purpose a little, but I figured if I was at least honest about that fact might make up for it.  I also encouraged everyone else to write their own coming out stories if they had one because a) I'm not the only one with a story, and not everyone grew up with the same circumstances I did.  People might find other stories more relatable, and b) I suck at writing.  I really do.  I might not have done a great job at writing my own story (I'll leave that for you all to decide). If better writers told their stories too, they would probably do a better job connecting to people than I could.

I got a lot of positive response from my "Coming Out:" posts.  To everyone who emailed me/left comments, thank you, I really mean it.  I'm glad that my story connected with you all.

I was planning to stop blogging after I finished my story.  However, a few people were really curious about my life after I came out; what was my first boyfriend like, etc, so I kept posting.  After that, blogging was simply my way of keeping in touch with the friends I've made.  However, like I said at the beginning of this post, I've lost my drive to continue posting.  Not that I've lost interest in keeping in touch with everyone.  I will still comment on others blogs, and you are all still free to email or formspring me if you'd like.

The last thing I want to say is this.  If you have a coming out story, please share it.  Maybe you think it's boring, maybe it's too sad, maybe you think no one will relate to it, maybe you think someone can do a better job, but somewhere out there, there might be a kid who finds your story, and it will mean the world to them.

Stuff going on, Superbowl and Glee

It's been a really long time, hasn't it?  Guess a lot of stuff's been going on.

Tae Kwon Do's been taking off.  Had some new students join.  A few new guys, which we're really excited about, including the girls.  It used to be that the club would alternate every semester being dominated by guys and girls, but the past few semesters have seen the girls continue to dominate and few/no new guys joining.  Seeing all of these guys join (and clearly wanting to stay) has been a change welcomed by all.

Other TKD news:  We've started a demo team and are currently putting something together.  Technically, the demo team existed last semester, but the student we put in charge of organizing it didn't start things up until recently.  The club had put together a demo at the last minute for a campus event last year.  We had so much fun putting it together, that we decided to do it more in the future.  Since we have a lot more time to prepare this year (and a lot more participants), it's gonna be a lot more elaborate.  We're pretty excited.  Since we teach a mixture of ITF and WTF, we're trying to incorporate elements of each.

Outside of TKD.

There's this guy I like.  "Like" is probably a strong word, since I don't really know him that well, but I know that I really like what little I do know, and that I want to get to know him better.  I met him over a year ago, and I liked him immediately.  I didn't bother getting to know him back then because I was having some relationship issues back then, and I thought getting to know a guy I might like could've made things more complicated.  I don't think I'm very good at handling romantic feelings, so I try to keep things as simple as I can, even if that means denying myself opportunities.  Anyway, I've barely seen this guy since then, but recently, I keep bumping into him.  He remembers my name and who I am, which I find pretty impressive considering a) I've only actually met him once or twice, and that was a long time ago and b) I had long hair when we met, and most people have trouble recognizing me now that I have it short again.  I'd like to think that this is a good sign.  I'm going to try to get to know him better next time I get the chance to.  Hopefully it turns out well.  We'll see.

Sidenote:
 How did you all enjoy the Superbowl?  Personally, I was a little bored.  Granted, I don't watch football all that much, but I will from time to time.  For some reason, I just couldn't keep paying attention to the game.  Maybe I just wasn't watching during the good parts.  It was kindof cool how the Steelers almost came back for the win.  At least some of the commercials were decent.  I learned that fireworks were first created when a dragon drank a Coke.

I was pretty excited to see the return of Glee.  I really am gay, aren't I? Being more excited for a campy, musical tv show than the biggest American sporting event of the year?  It was actually a decent episode (and football themed as well).  For those who didn't watch it, the episode more or less centered on the character Dave Karofsky, a bully character that I mentioned in an earlier post.  In this episode, David is struggling with feelings he has that he won't admit to anyone, including himself, because he's afraid that doing so will cost him his friends and his tough guy reputation at school.  However, the few times in this episode that we see him express these feelings are the only times he's ever looked happy during this show.  As the character Artie puts it, Dave's in the first stage of acceptance: denial.  Towards the end of the episode, Dave continues to deny his feelings because he doesn't want to accept the stigma.  Finn points out to him that if he chooses to express himself, he could help change how their world thinks to make it more accepting.  Dave says that'll never happen.

To viewers new to the show that came in from the Superbowl,  this was an episode about a football player who is denying the fact that he loves to perform in glee club, because being in glee is social suicide.  To those of us who have been watching the show and are well aware that this character is a closeted, self-hating homophobe,  this episode suddenly becomes a giant metaphor for his struggle to accept his sexuality.  I can't express enough praise for Max Adler, who plays Dave, for being such an amazing after.  It's amazing how good he is at portraying this role.  A lot of people have been complaining that his development as a character seemed a little rushed.  I have to agree that it did feel that way while watching the episode, but when I stopped to think about it, his character didn't really "evolve" (as in change) much, we just saw a lot of different sides to him that we haven't seen before. I think his development just seemed rushed since there has never been an episode that's focused on him so much.  All that screentime gave the illusion of sppedy development

-Robbie

it's been 1 week.

Not 1 week since my last post, but 1 week since school started back up for me. It took so little time to get back into the swing of things, it feels like I've been back for months.  So far, TKD is going on without a hitch.  We lost 1 instructor though.  He decided it wasn't fun any more, so he quit.  This guy is also one of my roommates.  I don't really care that much, so I don't there will be any drama between us.  As for the other instructor, I'm not so sure.  I could be wrong, but I get the impression that she's a little bitter about it.

What else is new? Not much, really.  I got another job.  I'm now a DJ for this local radio station.  It's a little crazy right now.  I've already made a number of mistakes.  Most of them had to do with me not completely understanding how the equipment works yet.  Oh well. I'll get it eventually. I've only had 2 shifts so far.

Anyway, hopefully everyone's enjoying the new semester!

-Robbie

Compliments

I'm not sure why I thought of this, but I thought it'd be a fun post to make.

I want to hear from you guys:
A. What are some compliments that you often hear from people?
B. What's the nicest compliment that you've ever been given that you can remember?
C. What are some strange compliments that you've been given?

Here are my answers to my own questions:
A. You give amazing hugs, you have nice hair, you're smart, you're really flexible (only my non-tkd friends tell me this lol. different standards). This isn't a verbal compliment, but my friends frequently confide their problems to me.  I consider it a compliment that they trust me that much.
B. I wish I was a strong as you (some context: she was referring to my coming out in high school)
C. You have a very masculine walk (what made this an even stranger compliment, is that it was given to me by a guy who had admitted to stalking me before he actually met me), you breathe very properly (this compliment came out of the blue from a friend who was sitting on me while watching a movie), you have good posture (same friend....)

Anyway, I'm done talking about myself. I want to hear from you!

-Robbie

Drawing disturbing parallels

Like I said in an earlier post, I got the Sims 3 for Christmas, and I've been playing it a lot lately.  A series of events happened, and it made me have to sit and think about what I had just done.
Here's what happened, and see if you can draw any parallels to real life from it.

I created a couple with a child.  As the child got older, the kids at his school started hating him and picking on him, causing him to be unhappy a lot of the time.   Eventually, it became clear that there was something seriously wrong with this child. He was glitched. He wouldn't/couldn't do the things I wanted him to (and often froze my game).  Nothing I tried was able to fix him.  Eventually, I gave up and had one of his parents kick him out of the house.

I know this is just a video game, but does anyone besides me find this a little messed up?  (if anyone's confused about what actually happened in this game, I'll be happy to explain in the comments)

Happy National Whipped Cream Day!

Like the title suggests, the U.S. is apparently celebrating National Whipped Cream Day.  May all your dreams involving whipped cream come true today.....  Does anyone else feel proud to be an American? I know I do.  I'm not gonna lie, I think it's a little ridiculous to make a holiday for a dessert topping.  Then again, we have all kinds of crazy holidays. Plus, it gives me a good excuse to listen to this song all day lol

Dawn of the New Decade

It's been awhile, hasn't it? Last time I posted was before Christmas.

I hope everyone's holidays turned out well.  Did everyone get what they wanted for Christmas? I know I did.  I got a space heater and a dehumidifier for my house at school.  You have no idea how badly I needed those.  The half of my house that I live in doesn't get any heat.  I don't really need the dehumidifier for this time of year, but I know I'm going to need it this summer.

I want to take the time to congratulate Masculine Gay Guy.  For those of you who don't read his blog, he came out to his parents a while ago. If you're reading this, I'm very proud of you man!

I hope everyone had a wonderful new years as well. Me? well, my plans fell through at the last minute, so I spent New Years by myself at home.  Oh well. I spent it catching up on some long overdue video game time.  I got the  Sims 3 for Wii for Christmas, and I've been pretty addicted to it since. Haven't figured out how to adopt kids yet.  I don't know if it's even possible in this game or not. I've looked around online, and lots of people seem to have the same problem and no one knows the answer.

Anyway, sorry for such a short post after a long absence.  I'll post again when I have something more significant to report

What's everyone's New Year's Resolution? Comment below!

Came out again..... sortof.....

We recently had a Christmas party for my step-mom's side of the family.  As far as I know, not many people on my step-mom's side of the family know I'm gay.  A big part of that reason is that I'm really not that close to them, so I don't have any real desire to keep them informed about my life. Another reason is that, because this branch is fairly religion and conservative, my coming out might make them criticize my step-mom, who so far has been very accepting of me, for not taking a strong stance against my sinful ways, or something stupid like that.

I think there are at least a couple members of this branch that have found out, but they haven't brought it up.

Anyway, at this Christmas party, I was in the basement with my younger cousins.  Their ages ran about 6-13, I think.  I can never keep track.  Anyway, they were playing the question game with me and the other high school/college aged cousins, where they ask us a lot of really obscure and sometimes ridiculous questions to see if they can get a funny response out of us.  They don't have very high standards for comedy.  They laughed for about 10 minutes when one of my cousins said his school's mascot is a bulldog.

It came to my turn to be interrogated.  They started asking me questions about my Wii.  They asked me when I got it, and I said "I got it when I first came out."  They started laughing, and I asked why.  They pointed out that I said when "I" first came out, instead of when "it" first came out.  I laughed and said that I didn't first come out until a little while after I bought my Wii.  I was being completely serious, but I don't think any of them picked up on it.  My little sister, who knows I'm gay and was in the room, looked at me and started laughing.

Yeah. That's my holiday story. Later

-Robbie 

Gay Pirates

So I just found this (sortof) new song called Gay Pirates.  It's by this guy called Cosmo Jarvis.
Don't let the title give you the wrong idea.  This song is actually really serious content wise.  It just might be the greatest gay love song ever made. Don't believe me?

I'm impressed by the music video too.  For being one giant take, it's pretty well done.

Anyway, just found this today and thought I'd show and tell

If you guys have any other cool Gay-themed songs you'd like to show, please post them in the comments below.
Also, If you have any questions or comments for me, you can email me at gayfighterrobbie@gmail.com, or ask me a question on formspring using the box on the upper right-hand side of the blog

Kung Fu Fighting!

I'm not sure if I've mentinned this before, but I've started learning my second martial art: Wushu!
Wushu is basically a modernized version of Kung Fu.  I'd say more, but since I've only just started learning it, I'm not that comfortable with my knowledge of it.  Anyway, one of my TKD students has been practicing Wushu for years, since before learning TKD.  The other black belts and I had talked to him to see if he would be allowed/interested to teach some Wushu to the class (since we lost our home school awhile back and are therefore an "unofficial" TKD school, we decided we might as well take advantage of our situation and teach things that you wouldn't normally teach in a formal TKD school).  Anyway, he talked to his Sifu (teacher; see-foo), who gave him permission to teach us.  It was a lot of fun.  It moves very differently than TKD, and it's been a little awkward to learn so far, but I'd like to think I'm picking it up pretty well.

Here's the first form I'm learning.  My student (or teacher in this case lol) taught it a little different.  I looked through a few videos of it on youtube, and this one is the closest I could find to the way he teaches it.

Anyway, that resting stance she does? Where she's basically sitting? Yeah, that was a bitch to learn it's really awkward and hurts your knees at first.  Now that I can do it pretty well, it's kindof fun.  I like to impress people by randomly falling into it lol.
That sweeping arm movement towards the end was also really awkward to learn.  I'm learning my second form now, which I can't find a video of, mostly because my student/teacher doesn't really bother telling us the names of these forms.  He has such little confidence in his pronunciation skills with these Chinese names, that he's afraid he'll accidentally say them completely wrong.

When he teaches, I've tried calling him Sifu, but he hates it when I call him that.  He says that it's not inappropriate to call him that, he just feels weird being called that name since all of his Sifus are much older and way more experienced than him.

I really want to go to a real Wushu school.  My teacher tells me that there's a lot of stuff that he's not allowed to teach, and that you have to go to an actual school in order to learn it

I love you, Dad

I'm home for Thanksgiving Break.  My dad and I went out to dinner the other night, just the two of us.  He started talking to me about how he's recently taken an open stance at his workplace against discriminating against LGBT people.  I personally don't know too much about the environment that he works in, but he claims that many of his co-workers show a lot of discomfort when it comes to hiring an openly LGBT person.  He makes it sound like his workplace is overall not very welcoming.  He wants to change this and sounds pretty passionate about it.  I'm not sure what exactly he plans to do, but I have faith in him.  He's good at getting what he wants lol.

We got to talking about homosexuality and homophobia in general.  I made the comment that sometimes it seems like most straight people don't care much about LGBT issues unless they are close to someone who is LGBT.  My dad quickly defended himself by saying that he's always been supportive of LGBT people.

I'm sure my dad has never had anything against gay people.  At the same time, I don't think he really cared or thought about gay rights much until I came out.  Before I came out, my dad never said anything about the issue.  I remember because that made it really hard for me to figure out whether or not he'd be supportive of me if I came out.  Now that I'm out, he's been going to these diversity seminars and has taken this stance at work.  I don't think he would be doing these things if he didn't know that these issues affected one of his kids.

I didn't want to bring this up with him.  Usually, when I do stuff like that, he denies it and becomes incredibly defensive.  He tries too hard to be perfect sometimes.  I think he's afraid that I might think less of him if he admitted that he hadn't really cared until I came out.  I wouldn't.  I wouldn't hold it against him at all.  I guess he thinks that he shouldn't have needed me as a reason to care; that he should've been a good enough person to care anyway.  None of that matters to me.  He's done his best to be there for me, and that's all I can ask for.  I'm proud of him, no matter what.  I hope he understands that.  I'm not really good at expressing my feelings towards him.

I love you, Dad.

-Robbie

Do masculine bi guys exist?

It's late. I have a paper to write, but I don't want to.

I know this is a really stupid question to ask, but it was actually brought up to me a couple weeks ago.
Do masculine bisexual guys exist?
I was talking to this girl, and she was convinced that masculine bi guys do not exist.
Feminine bi guys exist
Feminine gay guys exist
Masculine gay guys exist
All girls are bisexual to some extent (masculine or feminine)
But masculine bi guys don't exist.  'If you're masculine and you like to put your dick there, you have to be pretty gay."

I didn't know how to respond to this.  Thoughts? (BDNY, Joey, I hope you're reading this post. I'd love to hear what you have to say lol)

2 Girls, 1 Robbie.

Long story short.
I went  to a party sponsored by my school's GSA.  Wound up getting drunk.  Woke up the next morning with two girls in my bed.

Funny how omitting certain details in a story can drastically alter its meaning.
Here's what really happened.  Like I said, my school's GSA was hosting one of its parties.  Every year at my school, these parties are probably the biggest and most popular parties of the year.  We top just about every frat party.  No one knows how to party like the gays I guess.  Hosting a drag show during these dances probably doesn't hurt either.  Anyway, I volunteered to be sober driver for my friend and her roommate, both of whom were now 21 and wanted to get the full experience of these dances.  Anyway, after the dance, we went back to my place.  They felt bad that I wasn't able to be drunk with them at the dance, so they treated me to the rest of what they had in order to get me to catch up.  At this point, I was in no condition to drive them home.  I was also uncomfortable with them walking home.  I told them they needed to crash at my place and go back in the morning.  They agreed, and chose to sleep in my queen-sized bed with me, rather than sleeping on the couch or chairs in my living room. Can't say I blame them.  My bed is pretty fucking comfy.  Besides, how many times do you get the chance to say "I got a gay guy drunk and would up sleeping with him?" lol.
Needless to say, I 'slept' with two girls that night, though nothing ever happened. (I'm shuddering at the thought)
The next day, I texted on of my straight friends this message "Went to the dance last night. got drunk. woke up with 2 girls in my bed this morning..........score?"  He got a kick out of it after I explained what really happened.
He said I probably would've preferred the opposite.  Haha maybe.  I  was pretty drunk after the dance.  Don't know how I would've felt actually walking up the next day though.

I actually could've gotten a hook-up if I really wanted to.  There was this one guy I know who was there who's got a bit of a reputation.  He was hitting on me a lot.  It was getting on my nerves.  He shares a class with me and he gets on my nerves there as well.  Not planning on hooking up with him anytime soon.


On an unrelated note, within 2 days, my previous post received more views than any of my previous posts have ever received.  This Dave Karofsky story must really be big news for people.  I heard that Max Adler is in the process of making a video for the It Gets Better Project  Here is Mr. Max Adler's video

-Robbie

Glee "Never Been Kissed"

As some of you may already know, I'm a big fan of Glee.  Yes, I'm aware that it's probably gayer than Queer as Folk, and that I'm very stereotypical for liking it. fuck off.

Anyway,  this week's episode was a very significant one for a number of reasons.  It seems like it was written in response to all of the suicides that have been happening recently and came off as a bit of an afterschool special.
Still, it was overall a good episode that touched on some important issues.

SPOILER ALERT

Some backstory:  one of the show's main characters is Kurt Hummel.  Kurt is a gay highschool student who came out early on in the series.  While Kurt was initially portrayed as little more than a one-dimentional stereotype, he quickly became the most interesting character on the show.  The scenes revolving around Kurt's sexuality are probably the best moments in the show.  Much of this is due to the incredible acting of Chris Colfer, who plays Kurt, and Mike O'Mally, who plays his father, Burt.  The great quality of these scenes is also due to how well written and grounded they are.  The scene where Kurt comes out to his father was positive yet realistic, with Burt being immediately supportive but admittedly not 100% comfortable with the idea.

What happened on this episode:
Kurt's been dealing with bullying like he has for the past season and a half.  As the only out kid at his school, he is targeted quite a bit for his sexuality.  However, he seems to be experiencing more than usual lately, mostly from a football player named Dave Karofsky.  Because of this, along with the suggestion by his fellow glee-clubbers to spy on their competition, Kurt decides to visit Dalton Academy, an all-boys boarding school.  While there, he meets an opening gay character named Blaine.  Blaine is somewhat of an idealized character, being openly gay, completely accepted by his friends and lacking any apparent character flaw.  Blaine explains that he transferred to Dalton because he couldn't take the bullying at his own school.  Kurt considers transferring to Dalton himself, but Blaine recommends that Kurt face his homophobia head on, rather than run away from it like he did.

Kurt follows this advice.  After coming back to his own high school, Kurt is shoved into some lockers by Dave.  Kurt chases after him into the boy's locker room.  Kurt confronts Dave, and the more Kurt tells Dave off, the more anxious and upset Dave gets.  The scene climaxes when Dave pulls Kurt in for a long, hard kiss.  Kurt is so shocked that he doesn't move.  When Dave tries to kiss him again, Kurt pushes him back, and Dave storms off in a tantrum.

Later in the episode, Kurt tries to confront Dave again, this time with the help of Blaine.  Blaine tries to empathize with Dave, but Dave denies the kiss ever happened and storms off.


First of all, I have to give props to Max Adler, the actor who plays Dave Karofsky, for delivering an amazing performance last night.  His acting was incredibly believable,  I was also very impressed that the show decided to give a previously very minor character a very interesting storyline.  I know, a closeted gay male who tries to deny/hide his own sexuality by beating up other gay kids is nothing new, but a storyline like this one has a lot of potential.  I think there are a lot of guys out there who are like Dave. So far, Kurt's done a good job representing a lot of problems that gay teen males face, particularly effeminate ones.  However, a single character can't encompass every problem faced.  That's why Dave can be a great addition to the show.  As a big, masculine football player, he can represent the problems that masculine gay teens face.  It would be even better if Dave's parents were introduced, and they turn out to not be supportive of their son's sexuality.  While that's a horrible thing to happen, it is a reality for many gay kids and I think it would be good to represent that.

I was a little disappointed that Dave was the only homophobic football player shown in this episode.  Personally, I think it would've been good if Azimio, another football player who is frequently seen bullying with Dave, was included and seen bullying Kurt.  I think that would show that while some homophobic people are trying to hide their own sexuality, some are simply homophobic.  It would also shed more light on Dave's personal problems.  Not only does he have to hear gay jokes and other homophobic remarks, but he has to hear them come from his closest friends.  He also has to say them himself in order to maintain his image.  I supposed the show has time to do this in the future, but I don't think it would've hurt to show a little bit of it now.

anyway, that's my rant on glee.  And yes, I do want to see Kurt and Dave (eventually) get together. Eventually

If you want to see the episode, click here

If you want to see the big confrontation, click here

If Dave really does become more fleshed out, and I really hope he does, he'll probably sing eventually.  I've heard that Max Adler did musical theater in high school, so he probably has at least some skill.
Some songs I could picture Dave singing:
Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen (just replace the feminine pronouns with masculine ones)
Mr. Brightside by the Killers
Shadow Stabbing by Cake
Streets of Philadelphia by Bruce Springsteen
and maybe Here's Where I Stand by Tiffany Taylor

Halloween!

Sorry it's been a while since I last posted.  What happened was I was typing one for a while, decided it was stupid, and couldn't figure out what else to talk about.

Anyway, late happy halloween!  This weekend was actually pretty interesting.  I dressed up as lt. Jim Dangle.  Friday night, I went to this frat's costume party when I got my ass squeezed by some girl who I didn't know that was walking behind me.  I turned around to look at her and she said "Sorry," in a really sassy way.  I use the word "sassy" because that really is the best word to describe how she said it.  I guess I deserved the ass squeeze since I was wearing short-shorts and all.  It still caught me off guard though.  I also ran into a friend of mine who is also gay.  The second he saw me, he yelled "Save me!" and literally fell into my arms.  He's a lot taller than me, so I lost my balance for a second while catching him lol.  I wasn't sure what he wanted me to save him from, but I figured he wanted me to pull him away from the people he was with.  I tried pulling him away, but he went back to them so I just left him.

Next day I asked him what was up, he apologized, explains he gets really affectionate when he's drunk and was very embarrassed.  I told him I was the same and not to worry about it.

Later that night, I was at my house hosting my own party when he sends me a text saying that he wanted to get drunk again.

....

>:)

I invite him to my place, telling him that I was having a small party, and that people would be getting drunk.  When I'm sober, I don't go for hook-ups or anything like that, but I was already drinking at that point............. and I'm affectionate when I'm drunk.......... and................ moving on.

He sends me a reply saying that he still feels sick from the night before and probably shouldn't drink.

.....

>:(

I tell him that he could still come over if he wanted to and not drink since not everyone would, but he never shows up.  Damn it........ oh well. probably for the best in the long run, although I'm still a little upset that it sounded like he wanted to get drunk with me then backed out after I offered.

Anyway, how was everyone's halloween? what did you dress up as? also, if you'll notice on the right side of the page, I now have a formspring account. "Ask Me Anything."  I'll answer anything I feel comfortable answering.  I won't answer anything along the lines of who am I, where do I live, etc, but I'll probably answer most other quetions

Non-romantic things

Second to last post ago, I shared my most romantic moment I've had, and asked for yours.  For this post, I'll do the same with non-romantic things.

I went on a date with a guy who was 2-3 times larger than me, and that is no exaggeration.  He wasn't even fat; he was just a really big/tall guy.  Anyway, on this first date, we were going to watch a horror movie at his house.  To start the evening off, he was about an hour late picking me up.  We get to his place and first thing he does is offer me wine.  I refused because I figured going to some guy's house on a first date when I don't even know him that well was probably not the smartest idea to begin with, let alone accepting drinks from him.  Anyway, we start watching the movie.  We watched the Strangers. If you haven't seen it, it's a horror movie that has little gore and tries to be very suspenseful.  I don't know about anyone else, but suspense movies don't bother me at all.  The guy who I was with, however, was shitting his pants.  That, or he was using the movie as an excuse to grab me tightly (which might've been the case, lol).  At one point in the movie, he was so scared, he leaped in the air and landed on my lap.  Let me remind you that this guy was 2-3 times my size.  He practically knocked the wind out of me.  What made it worse, was that he wouldn't get off, so I had trouble breathing for the rest of the movie.  After the movie he pulled me, literally by the collar, in for a kiss.  I kindof put up with the kissing because after having to put up with so much crap, I might as well enjoy something out of this date.  Then he tried to go for second base, and I had everything stop there.  Call me a prude all you want,  I won't go past kissing on a first date.  Needless to say, I didn't go on a second date with the guy.

What're some of your non-romantic things that've happened to you?

Happy Belated Coming Out Day!

I really wanted to make a post yesterday, however i had issues with my computer.  I got a virus, and it made my computer too slow to do anything.  I also didn't feel comfortable making a blog post on someone else's computer.  

I have 2 interesting NCOD stories though.  My school's Homecoming.....celebration.....thing..... was yesterday, and I was unaware.  I went to the quad because the GSA had a table there to petition for the school to give benefits to same-sex partners.  When I got there, I found a giant rainbow bounce house, a large stage, and 90's music blaring.  I vote that next year, every school's GSA should rent a rainbow bounce house to NCOD, otherwise we might be outdone by greek life.  

Story #2-  I'm not the only LGBT student who does TKD at my school.  In fact, I've had a handful of LGBT students the past couple years, not all of them 100% out.  There have been a couple students who have come out to me, while still being in the closet  to others.  There's this one student in class, who idk for sure is LGBT, but I see this student at a lot of LGBT functions.  In class on NCOD, one of the other instructors made a joke about how this student should show off their skills to their opposite-sex significant other.  This student started laughing uncomfortably.  Now, this instructor didn't mean any harm and is in fact very supportive of LGBT issues.  Part of me wanted to pull the other instructor aside and inform them of the issue, but I knew that would violate the student's personal privacy.  It sucks that you can't come out for someone, even if you're trying to help.  Plus since idk if this student is LGBT, I could've outed them when they really didn't need to out them.

Anyway, that's what happened to me on NCOD.  As a present for putting up with my absense, here's an awesome video enjoy

Romantic things

In my psych class, we have daily attendance, where we sign our names and answer a question of the day. Since we were talking about romantic relationships, today's question was "What's the most romantic thing you've done/ had done to you?"

The most romantic date I've ever been on was a little over a year ago. It was my second date with this one guy (Our first had been a dinner double date with friends of his). He and I both loved looking at the stars, so we decided to drive out to the middle of nowhere one night in his truck. He had brought a lot of blankets with him, which he laid out on the bed of the truck. We climbed in,and laid next to each other. I showed off by pointing out all of the constellations I knew. I then came to one that he didn't know, and he couldn't see exactly where I was pointing at. I then took his hand, pointed it towards the constellation, and used his finger to connect the stars. After he was able to see the shape, I brought his hand down, but I kept holding on (am I smooth, or what? lol). I turned to him and asked "How'd you like my trick to get you to hold my hand?" He got a little upset at first; he thought that when I said "trick," I meant that the constellation I pointed out was fake. I laughed and said it was real, and that I just took advantage of an opportunity to hold his hand for the first time. We both laughed then looked at each other in the eye. We then shared our first kiss. We spent the rest of the night cuddling/kissing, until he took me home.

To anyone who'd like to share, what's the most romantic thing you've done/had done to you?

Office Elections

We had office elections in TKD for the past couple weeks. As it stood before, I was President, with two other black belt instructors being my "assistants," though really we divided the power evenly. The only difference was that I have the connection to the gym which we practice in and to our school's student organization funding committee. I was never elected to the job, the previous instructor chose me because at the time, I was the only other black belt attending class regularly (the two who help me now had issues with the previous instructor).

Anyway, the other two black belts and I decided that we want to be less dictator-like and have the students involved. We did make a note that a black belt had to be president, because A)it was part of our constitution and B)it looks much better to the university if a black belt is in charge.

Our plan didn't go over so well though. Very few people were nominated. The black belts were more or less the only ones that received votes for pres, vp and treasurer. There were tons of students who were nominated for public relations chair lol (pr chairs get to plan our social events).

So I ended up being elected treasurer, while the other two black belts were elected pres and vp. I have mixed feelings about being treasurer. On one hand, treasurer has the most responsibility in the class, and all of the students know this, so it's flattering to be the most trusted. On the other hand, I really dislike the job. I was stuck doing it last year, and handling all of the business bullshit sucks. Still, I'm kindof glad I got the job because frankly, I don't know if I can trust the other 2 black belts to handle the job very well, and I have no problem saying that because they've said it themselves.

On a different note, I learned something interesting about myself yesterday: I get really irritated whenever people give me good advice, but for completely irrelevant reasons. I was in organic chemistry lab, and the experiment required me to add a pinch of table salt. I was being a bad chemist (I openly admit it) and chose not to put on gloves for this. Not wearing gloves is usually a bad idea for different reasons. Which reason depends on the situation. In this situation, my hands may have been dirty and I risked contaminating my sample. I was aware of this, but I was already having a bit of a bad day, so I just didn't care. Plus, it was only salt, so I didn't have to worry about it being corrosive to my skin. Before I took some salt, I carefully checked the label of the container, making sure it was really salt. I also asked the lab assistant if it really was just table salt, and she confirmed. My professor caught me handling the salt with my bare hands and started lecturing me about why that's bad. Here's where the irrelevant part comes in. He was going on and on about how while this time it was salt, next time it could be something that will burn a hole in my hand.

While this is really good advice, it was completely irrelevant to this particular situation. I was fully aware that salt was safe to touch; if I was handling something that wasn't, I would've definitely worn gloves. I also checked both the label and the assistant, making absolutely sure it was salt and not something else. If my professor argued that my hands weren't clean, I'd be okay with getting lectured.

I know I'm being immature about getting mad at this. I also get mad whenever people's explanations for things are completely wrong (or at least in tkd I do).

Question(s) of the day: What are some things that really get on your nerves?
If you'll notice on the right, I now have a formspring! Ask me anything!

Settling in

So I finally feel like I've settled into the school year. I've gotten into routine with my classes, I've gotten used to living with roommates again, etc.

On the TKD front, we're been making lots of progress. There was a lot of stuff that needed to get done. Since we lost our old homeschool, we basically had to sit down and make up our own system for the time being until we find someone else. That means we had to come up with ranks (how many and what belt system to use), come up with the requirements to promote to each rank, come up with the rules for sparring in class, etc.

On another note, my school is doing The Coming Out Monologues again this year. This year, I'll be helping out with organizing it. It won't be put on until next semester, but we'll be working on reading through story submissions this semester. The guy who currently runs it is graduating at the end of the semester, so I'm helping out as much as I can. It's my job to make sure that the show doesn't fall through after he leaves. This means that I'll be in charge during auditions, rehearsals, and getting things reading on the actual night. I'm glad the current guy will still be around for all the space reservations and such. I'd hate to have to decide when the rehearsals and the actual show should be all by myself.

Well, that's about it.
Later