Tuesday, September 7, 2010

My first boyfriend

I was asked a long time ago about my first boyfriend. I thought I'd share a few things. I first met him through facebook. He and I were incoming freshmen to the same school, and the summer before our first semester started, the freshman class used facebook to contact future roommates, suitemates, hallmates, residential advisors, kids taking the same classes as them, etc. It was actually kind of cool to talk to these kids, knowing that I'll get to meet them in person in the near future. My first boyfriend was one of these kids. He and I were going to live on the same floor in the same dorm. When we first started talking to each other, there wasn't any intention of dating; he was dating someone at the time, and I was dealing with my first stalker.

This stalker. During summer orientation, I met one of the leaders who happened to be gay. He was really nice and told me that if I had any LGBT related questions about living on campus, that I could friend him on facebook and ask him, which I did. Not long after I did that, I received a friend request by this other guy, my stalker. I figured out from his facebook page that he was a residential advisor for my dorm, so I naturally assumed that he was my advisor and was going around friending his future residents. So, I accepted and he quickly started talking to me. I quickly found out that although he was AN advisor in my dorm, he wasn't mine. I asked him how many other kids in the dorm he had friended, and he said just me. I asked why me, and he said it was because he found me through my orientation leader's friends and thought I was cute. I was really uncomfortable with this, especially since this guy was a senior and I was an incoming freshman. I didn't like the idea of being someone's fresh meat, so I told him I wasn't interested in dating him. The problem was he kept persisting. It was really awkward when I finally met the guy in person and still had to tell him no. He eventually gave up. I found out later that this guy has a reputation for preying on freshmen.

Anyway, back to my first boyfriend. By the time school started, he had broken up with his old boyfriend. We hung out for a few times and got to know each other better. We had similar senses of humor and liked most of the same movies, music and video games. Most Importantly, he had a bit of a hard time growing up. Whereas my coming out story was extremely positive, his was not. I won't go into detail, but he had it rough. In spite of that, he tried as hard as he could to overcome all of that. I admired that kind of strength. I asked him out, and we became a couple. In retrospect, our relationship wasn't that great, but at the time I loved it. After a few months, we started having problems. He was a very moody guy, and I had trouble keeping up with it all. He also had major self-esteem issues, and dating me probably didn't help. People sometimes referred to him as "the bitch" since I had a more masculine personality than him. Also, he was overweight, while I was skinny and in decent shape. I often encouraged him to get out and exercise more, which he may have misunderstood as a sign that I had a problem with his weight. On another hand, he had problems respecting my opinions on things. I couldn't criticize him on anything without it being held against me, even if he asked me to criticize him on something. He'd also hold it against me if I defended myself when he'd accuse me of doing something wrong.

Anyway, we decided to break up. I didn't really want to break up; I wanted to work it out, but he insisted. We decided to still be friends and stay open to the idea of getting back together. The day we broke up, a number of gay guys on campus started talking to me a lot. They acted like they were concerned about how I was feeling emotionally, but I'm pretty sure they were mostly looking for an opprotunity to hit on me. I ended up going out with this one guy who seemed to be the most sincere, but on our first date he tried going for second base, so I decided to call it off right there.

I then started going out with this one guy who was the complete opposite. He was such a gentleman, he asked permission the first couple times he kissed me. After that last jerk, I really appreciated this. Still, as amazing as this guy was, I didn't have particularly strong feelings towards this guy. I thought it was because I still had feelings for my first boyfriend. What made things worse was that my first boyfriend confronted me and told me he wanted to get back together. I decided that since I still had feelings for my first boyfriend and didn't have very strong feelings for this new guy I was dating, I should go back to my first boyfriend. I explained all of this to the guy I was dating and he was very understanding.

In hindsight, this was probably the stupidest thing I've ever done in terms of dating. Maybe not the breaking up with the new guy I was dating, but going back to my first boyfriend. While I was getting attention from lots of other guys, he wasn't getting any (as far as I know). I imagine he was mistaking general feelings of loneliness with feelings of wanting to be with me. I can't really blame him. I've been there. After we got back together, he quickly realized that he didn't want to be with me as much as he thought. A couple weeks after we got back together, he cheated on me. He cheated on me with a guy he just met. This guy liked my boyfriend, and my boyfriend neglected to mention that he was seeing someone. When the guy found out about me the next day, he was furious. My boyfriend immediately told me everything that had happened and we broke up.

I'm not gonna lie. I think the only other time that I was hurt as bad as this was when my mom died. I was so upset that I felt numb for days, both physically and emotionally. I could say more, but I prefer not to.

The happy ending to this story is that I eventually forgave him and now we're friends again. I'm also friends with his new boyfriend

13 comments:

  1. Robbie,

    It says a lot about you (all good things) that despite the problems with your first boyfriend you were able to later become friends with him and his boyfriend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. heh you sound like a major prude when u were in college, dude wasnt a stalker, dude was a senior lookin for fresh meat, thats part of the game, you gotta keep em off you. its hard to understand why you felt uncomfortable, that is part of going to college. sounds like u didnt have much fun in college

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't know if i'd call myself a major prude. I save sex for relationships and try to be responsible, but I don't really care about "saving it for the one" or anything like that. I believe in saving something for the one, but I think it's stupid to have that something be sex, seeing as how libido tends to decline with age. Why treat something so important when you're not going to do it as much when you get older? I think saving the phrase "I love you," is a better choice since people can and will usually speak until they die.
    Regarding this senior, I do consider him a stalker since he wouldn't leave me alone even though I said no many times. He even tried to figure out when and where I worked in my hometown so he could come down and find me there during the summer. Naturally, this made me feel uncomfortable (especially since I'd never experienced anything like this in hs, nor did anyone tell me what to expect as a gay student in college)
    Don't worry. I've enjoyed college plenty, and am still enjoying it. Don't get me wrong, in spite of the bad stuff that happened with my first relationship, I'm grateful of all of the experiences I had before things went sour. That's probably why I was able to eventually able to forgive my first boyfriend.

    My advice to anyone reading this: Don't hold grudges. They're really not worth holding on to.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello,
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  6. How i got my husband back.Am Stacey Bruno by name I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the Dr ATILA only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is: atilahealinghome@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. My life is back!!! After 2 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Olokum which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and also spell to get a good paid job so on. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Julieta, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email.After reading all these, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever. drolokumspelltemple@gmail.com you are a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on drolokumspelltemple@gmail.com or markproblemsolutiontemple@yahoo.com contact him via +2348161554365

    ReplyDelete
  8. An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is carol williams,i live in Florida,USA,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{ogbonispelitemple@hotmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same email ogbonispelitemple@hotmail.com,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr Ogboni for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. {ogbonispelitemple@hotmail.com}, Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  9. An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is carol williams,i live in Florida,USA,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{ogbonispelitemple@hotmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same email ogbonispelitemple@hotmail.com,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr Ogboni for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. {ogbonispelitemple@hotmail.com}, Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I never use to believe in spell casting until i met Dr Oga a powerful spell caster who helped me to be a happy person again. My name is Rose James and i reside in USA. After 4 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids. I felt like my life was about to end and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a Great spell caster called Dr Oga which i met online on one fateful day when I was browsing through the internet, i came across a lot of testimonies about this particular Great spell caster how he has helped so many people. he has helped people to bring back their Ex lover, some testified that he restores womb, cure cancer and other sickness, and so on. I also came across a testimony, it was about a woman called Anita, she testified about how his spell made her to be pregnant after so many years of bareness and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr Oga's email address. After reading all these, i decided to give it a try and i contacted him and explained my problem to him and he assured me that in less than 48 hours, my husband will call me and beg for forgiveness but i thought it will not work. When he had finished casting the spell, the next day my husband called me and he was begging for forgiveness just as Dr Oga said. This is not brain washing and after the spell has been cast, i realized that my husband love me like never before and the spell caster opened him up to know how much i love him and how much love we need to share. We are even happier now than before. Dr oga is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and a genuine spell caster to solve all your problems contact Dr Oga now on Drogaperfectspells@yahoo.com or just visit Drogaperfectspells.blogspot.com and see so many he has helped that are testifying about his good work. He will help you solve all your problems. Once again thank you Dr Oga for your good deeds.

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is certainly a shocking and a genuine Testimony i have ever
    seen..I visited a forum here on the internet on the 20TH OF JUNE 2014,
    after my husband separated me and my marriage of 8 years was broken down
    and i was totally inconsolable and without hope because i have tried all
    means to get my husband back after much pleading and did everything
    possible to make sure that he comes back, but nothing worked out for me....
    And i saw a marvelous testimony with this email address
    drbabaspellalter@gmail.com of this powerful and great spell caster called
    Dr baba on the forum.. And i saw how Dr baba reunited a family and
    brought the Husband of a woman back to her in just 24 hours..I never
    believed it, because i never heard nor learn anything about magic before..
    Not a soul would have been able to influence me about magical spells, not
    until Dr baba did it for me and restored my marriage of 8 years back to me
    and brought my spouse back to me in the same 24 hours just as i read on the
    internet..i was truly astonished and shocked when my husband came to my
    house and knelt down begging for forgiveness and for me to accept him
    back.. I am really short of expressions, and i don't know how much to
    convey my appreciation to you Dr baba.. you are certainly a God sent to me
    and my entire life and family.. he did his work just as he guaranteed me in
    24 hours and it yielded an optimistic result to me and i was able to get my
    Husband back. right now my Husband has falling so much in love with me and
    my kids like never before. This spell casting isn't brain washing but he
    opened up his eyes to see how much i love and wanted him, i really don't
    know how best to be grateful to you Dr baba for bringing happiness into
    my life and family, and now i am a joyful woman once again.. here is his
    Email: drbabaspellalter@gmail.com, or drbabaspellalter@hotmail.com connect him with these number +2348142705931 you can email me for more information mikejenni52@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is certainly a shocking and a genuine Testimony i have ever
    seen..I visited a forum here on the internet on the 20TH OF JUNE 2014,
    after my husband separated me and my marriage of 8 years was broken down
    and i was totally inconsolable and without hope because i have tried all
    means to get my husband back after much pleading and did everything
    possible to make sure that he comes back, but nothing worked out for me....
    And i saw a marvelous testimony with this email address
    drbabaspellalter@gmail.com of this powerful and great spell caster called
    Dr baba on the forum.. And i saw how Dr baba reunited a family and
    brought the Husband of a woman back to her in just 24 hours..I never
    believed it, because i never heard nor learn anything about magic before..
    Not a soul would have been able to influence me about magical spells, not
    until Dr baba did it for me and restored my marriage of 8 years back to me
    and brought my spouse back to me in the same 24 hours just as i read on the
    internet..i was truly astonished and shocked when my husband came to my
    house and knelt down begging for forgiveness and for me to accept him
    back.. I am really short of expressions, and i don't know how much to
    convey my appreciation to you Dr baba.. you are certainly a God sent to me
    and my entire life and family.. he did his work just as he guaranteed me in
    24 hours and it yielded an optimistic result to me and i was able to get my
    Husband back. right now my Husband has falling so much in love with me and
    my kids like never before. This spell casting isn't brain washing but he
    opened up his eyes to see how much i love and wanted him, i really don't
    know how best to be grateful to you Dr baba for bringing happiness into
    my life and family, and now i am a joyful woman once again.. here is his
    Email: drbabaspellalter@gmail.com, or drbabaspellalter@hotmail.com connect him with these number +2348142705931 you can email me for more information mikejenni52@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. I never use to believe in spell casting until i met Dr Oga a powerful spell caster who helped me to be a happy person again. My name is Rose James and i reside in USA. After 4 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids. I felt like my life was about to end and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a Great spell caster called Dr Oga which i met online on one fateful day when I was browsing through the internet, i came across a lot of testimonies about this particular Great spell caster how he has helped so many people. he has helped people to bring back their Ex lover, some testified that he restores womb, cure cancer and other sickness, and so on. I also came across a testimony, it was about a woman called Anita, she testified about how his spell made her to be pregnant after so many years of bareness and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr Oga's email address. After reading all these, i decided to give it a try and i contacted him and explained my problem to him and he assured me that in less than 48 hours, my husband will call me and beg for forgiveness but i thought it will not work. When he had finished casting the spell, the next day my husband called me and he was begging for forgiveness just as Dr Oga said. This is not brain washing and after the spell has been cast, i realized that my husband love me like never before and the spell caster opened him up to know how much i love him and how much love we need to share. We are even happier now than before. Dr oga is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and a genuine spell caster to solve all your problems contact Dr Oga now on Drogaperfectspells@yahoo.com or just visit Drogaperfectspells.blogspot.com and see so many he has helped that are testifying about his good work. He will help you solve all your problems. Once again thank you Dr Oga for your good deeds.

    ReplyDelete